Thursday, August 19, 2004

Mindnumbingly-Dull Minutiae, Part One

...I have decided to postpone the first installment of the mindnumbingly-dull minutiae of my life, having not realised that Justice Breyer, who delivered the majority opinion in Wossname vs. Cathcart, is actually Jewish. So I feel obligated to dig into my archives and present my (unpublished) letters to the Devil Bunny City Morning Herald in defense of the Jewish state.

6/8/2001, 'Moir Cartoon August 6th'
[This showed a guy throwing rocks, labelled 'terrorist', facing a helicopter gunship, labelled 'hero'].
What Alan Moir's cartoon doesn't show is that the helicopter gunship is firing over the head of the stone thrower, over the head of the Molotov cocktail thrower behind the stone thrower, over the head of the sniper behind the Molotov cocktail thrower, at the men organising the bombing of public places to randomly kill civilians. I wish you accepted attachments so I could show the faces of some of the teenage girls killed in the bombing these men called "a legitimate act" and "a successful blow against the Zionist enemy".


3/4/2002, 'Freedom for Silesia'
In the late 1940s, twelve million Germans were driven off their ancestral lands by the brutal regime of Stalin. Today, their descendants continue to live in squalid refugee camps, while the Slav occupiers refuse to recognise the U.N. resolutions calling for immediate withdrawal from the occupied territories of Prussia, Silesia, East Pomerania, and the Sudetenland, and respond disproportionately with collective punishment when German freedom-fighters nobly blow up Slav buses and restaurants. Our family has not given up the dream of returning to my great-grandfather's house in Breslau, and our leaders assure us that apparent compromise with the Slavs is only a stepping stone to the liberation of all Greater Germany...

Oops, I think I may have us confused with the other lot who launched a genocidal war against the Jews. The ones who didn't quite pull it off. Sorry...


And a short uninteresting one:

3/10/2002, 'Please Bump Him Upstairs'Could you please give Doug Anderson a regular column for his anti-US and anti-ISrael diatribes and hand the TV guide over to someone less overtly political?

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