Wednesday, August 18, 2004

The Reich Stuff

The Supreme Court of the Reich today overturned Reichzkanzler Bäumlein’s ban on the controversial ‘Einschuss’ method of social hygiene. ‘The best interests of the Party and the State are preserved when the broadest possible range of options is preserved for each community in the Fatherland to become Judenrein,’ pronounced Judge Breyer. ‘The ban is a gross infringement on the rights of the German people.’ The Einschuss technique, popular in occupied territories where ammunition is scarce, involves wiring Jews and other undesirables into a bundle, shooting the entire bundle with a single bullet, and throwing it into a body of water...

If the policies of the Republican and Democratic parties on abortion were reversed, I would be ‘all the way with JFK’, even if his Swift boat buddies swore black and blue that he used to get his jollies by napalming orphanages. I would support anyone running against Bush on a stronger anti-choice platform. I would support the Reverend Ian Paisley. I would support Moqtada al-Sadr. I would support Aleister Crowley, self-styled Beast of the Apocalypse (yes, he was pro-life too, even though he was also pro-human sacrifice). I guess I am that narrowly-based a single-issue voter.

Not that my purely nominal support is worth anything, as I am not registered to vote in the Old Country. I suppose I ought to shut up and write about the mind-numbingly dull minutiae of my life instead…

1 comment:

Dave said...

Hey, who wouldn't vote for Crowley? Although I guess these days he'd have some better competition for his baby-skin-leather-and-conflict-diamond-encrusted "Wickedest Man in the World" belt.